I Didn't Think I Was a Feminist, Until I Became One
When I was younger, I had a narrow idea of what a feminist looked like. I imagined someone radical, someone hardcore. A label that felt too extreme, too confrontational for me to claim. The word itself seemed to carry weight and judgment, something that belonged to other people, not someone like me.
Looking back now, I realize I was buying into the very misconceptions feminism works to dismantle. But my understanding didn't shift because of a manifesto or a debate. It shifted because of people, specifically women in community working together toward something larger than themselves.
Finding My People
It started with something unexpected: joining Concentus Women's Chorus in 2012. I joined because I loved music, not because I was on some conscious journey. But the moment I stepped into that space with other women, something clicked. There was a power in our voices raised together, literally and figuratively. I call them my Sisters in Song, and I have been singing with them ever since. When the opportunity came to serve on the board, I stepped up without hesitation.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I was already doing feminist work. Creating space for women's voices. Supporting female leadership. Building community where women could thrive.
Expanding the Circle
Then I discovered WomenNow in 2023, and the circle widened. WomenNow exists to provide a spotlight for women in our community and to support and enable women to achieve their goals. The group is built on a powerful belief: that supporting women's active involvement in the ServiceNow community will improve the entire ecosystem as a whole. That mission resonated deeply with what I'd experienced in the chorus. The recognition that women working together create something better for everyone.
I became more involved, eventually joining the leadership team. In this role, I started seeing the bigger picture: how systemic barriers silence women's contributions, how women's lived experiences and perspectives are underrepresented in so many spaces, and how powerful women become when they're given a platform and genuine support.
These weren't abstract concepts anymore. I was living them, working alongside women who refused to accept that the status quo was good enough.
The Moment of Truth
The real wake-up call came when I co-founded NowDivas with my now good friend Selva Arun. Together, we launched a YouTube channel dedicated to bringing women's voices into a space so overwhelmingly and frustratingly male-dominated. As Selva and I worked as contributors to create content and build the channel, the response was immediate and humbling.
The feedback we received made something clear: this was desperately needed. Women in the ServiceNow community were hungry for representation, for seeing themselves reflected on screen, for hearing from voices like theirs. Comments, messages, and engagement showed us that we'd touched on something real, a gap that had been waiting to be filled.
And suddenly, it became clear to me. I was a feminist. Not because I'd studied feminist theory or declared myself as such, but because I couldn't ignore the truth anymore: women's voices need to be heard, and women working together in community can accomplish extraordinary things.
“Women’s voices need to be heard, and women working together in community can accomplish extraordinary things.”
What Feminism Actually Is
Feminism, I've learned, isn't about being extreme or angry (though anger at injustice is valid). It's about something simpler and far more powerful: believing that women deserve the same platform, the same opportunities, and the same respect as anyone else. It's about showing up for each other. It's about refusing to accept that the way things are is the way they have to be.
When you sing with a chorus of women, when you serve alongside them, when you create with them, when you commit to amplifying their voices, you're not just participating in isolated acts of kindness. You're participating in feminism in action.
Now I Know
I was already a feminist long before I claimed the label. I was a feminist when I raised my hand for that board position. I was a feminist when I joined WomenNow's leadership team. I was a feminist when I said yes to co-founding NowDivas, recognizing that women in tech have stories worth telling and audiences that deserve to hear them.
The misconception I had about feminism wasn't that it was too extreme. It was that I thought it had to look a certain way from the outside. In reality, feminism looks like women choosing to show up for each other. It looks like community. It looks like saying yes to the things that matter.
And it turns out, that's been me all along.
What was your moment of realizing that you were a feminist? Share your story in the comments because our voices, and our stories, matter.
